i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
