Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
