god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
