went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
