just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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