I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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