so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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