holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
two words: eviction party
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
