know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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