And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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