Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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