Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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