i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
