wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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