I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
