I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
