my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
