It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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