i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
