you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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