on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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