I love black thongs
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
The Olympian is in my bed
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
