I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
