I'm going to jail i love you
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
