we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
