Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
