He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
there is puke in my bra ... again
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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