Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i think i have two assholes
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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