So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
