How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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