how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
its liver damage thursday
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
