Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
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