id be glad to
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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