He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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