i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
