If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
only if we run a train.
done.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
