"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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