there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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