i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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