Porn is love you can see.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
