I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
