'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
