plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Randomize
