Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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