i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
