They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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