maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize
