That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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