Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
