Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
It's just like the Real World with babies
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
