i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
