I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
