Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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