So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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