We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
